My mom is dying

 We all know our parents will likely die before us, as is typically the case, but it's difficult when a terminal diagnosis comes out of the blue by chance when being treated for something else. I have been through this once before with my dad, and complied with his wishes but it's harder to watch my mom be in such pain & confusion. My goal is the same, just be here, care for her best way possible until the inevitable 😥 but it's hard emotionally & physically. 

   When she keeps asking me in her confusion & medicated state "what's happening to me honey"? It is truly heartbreaking 💔 I'm trying to manage her pain to the fullest but not stop her breathing,  unfortunately a huge side effect of many of her meds is decreased respirations. She can still recognize me but it's harder to understand her more & more. I hate that the meds don't take away all the pain, cancer sucks 😕 😡.

She knows I'm here & that matters to me, I know the end is near & no matter how ready you feel, I don't believe anyone is truly ready to say goodbye to mom.