My P.O.T.S disability

 

My P.O.T.S disability 

Get up, sit back down, no lay down instead,

Racing heartrate & dizziness comes, just stay in bed,

Why bother to try it's always the same, 

15mins max, upright is the name of this game,

But it's not a game, now it's life for me, 

I'm so tired of this POTS disability, 

Quality of life matters & now I have none, 

Making me feel like I'd prefer to be gone, 

I'm almost never alone but feel lonely inside, 

Showing fake happiness so my despair I can hide,

I worked so hard to be a great ER nurse,

And lost my career to this illness, this curse, 

It's a struggle to get out of bed everyday, 

I have no purpose, nothing to do or say, 

If I go anywhere I have to make sure I have a seat,

That's why everywhere I go I bring my walker with me, 

It makes me feel old and broken inside,

But needing to sit down often,  I just can't hide,

I feel so limited, it's depressing to me,

All my desires & joy are gone thanks to this disability. 

(8-6-24)