A time I felt LE failed me

     (Written 4/2015)

   I didn't always support law enforcement and I'm gonna tell you why. I was a big mouth angry teenager with little self control and had a few interactions with them that I choose not to describe. There was an occasion where I called upon them for help and was let down and it affected me for many years.

     I was engaged back in 2001 and one day we had an argument that was pretty intense,  he left so we could both cool off and that was that. Later that night he sent me a text that made me think he was gonna hurt himself and I went to the police to report him missing and told them my concerns. I wanted them to call the credit card company and see if he used his card so we could find him, but they said they would assign a detective to the case on monday, this was friday.

     Sunday morning,  which was mother's day(I STILL do Not celebrate this holiday since his death), they towed my car that he just bought me even though I showed them the papers from the dealer and the little slip in the window for dmv purposes but it was financed in his name and he was missing,  but they towed it anyway.😡 Later that night the police called me and said they were coming by and asked my name and if I knew him. I knew it was gonna be bad news. 

     They came to my apt and told me he was found dead in a hotel room and he left a note with my info and a hand written will. I, needless to say was devastated. After meeting with the coroner,  I went to the station to claim my car that they towed and that was more drama,  it was only after I broke down in tears and gave him the suicide/will  note did I get my car back. 

     I blamed them for his death for a long time (11yrs) and felt like they could have prevented it if they would have done what I asked, cause he did use his credit card to pay for the room. It took many years for me to accept that he chose to die and even if they stopped him then,  he may have just done it later anyway.

      I started nursing school a few months later and life did go on after many nights of tears, pain and guilt. 

    There was no crisis team then or at least they were not sent out to help me cope, I was told the news,  given the coroner case number and phone number to call and left alone with my kids to deal with it. I not only had to plan a funeral but had to cancel our wedding which was set to happen in 5 weeks. My pastor helped me get thru that. 

It was truly the worst time in my life and I'll tell you what happened to turn around my feelings about law enforcement and how I became one of their biggest supporters .